Sermon Prepared by James McCullen
Email Preach Him with Dr. Jim

All In the Family
Col 3:18 - 20

18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. 
20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. NASU 
18 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. 
19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them. 
20 Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord. KJV 
18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 
19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 
20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.   NIV 

A Catholic Family had taken their new born to be christened and as they left the church the older child began to cry. Finally the father got the child to respond. He said "the priest told you to see that we were raised in a Christian family and I don't want to be raised in a Christian family I like the one I have."

Does your children know they are being raised in a Christian home? Look with me at these verses that are all about the family.

1.    The Word to Wives. v 18

                Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

A.    The . . Command. v 18 a
        Wives, be subject to your husbands,. . . "

ATR = The verb hupotassomai (NT:5293) has a military air, common in the Koine for such obedience.

Why is a Lady Commanded to Submit to her husband and the husband is not commanded to submit to his wife.

Hardest thing for a woman to do is be submissive.
(This is stated in the Book Liberty through Submission by

Making this apply more to our church some have opposed the 2000 Baptist Faith and Message because the Article on Family * says a women is to submit to her husband but it does not say any thing about a man being submissive. Let me site many scriptures about submission and then make a statement about that thought.

        1.    Submission Generally
                a.    Submission to God.
                        James 4:7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. NASU
                b.    Submission to one another.
                        Eph 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
                c.    Submission to the office of Pastor.
                        Heb 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they
                        watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and
                        not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

        2.    Submission to Government.
                1 Peter 2:13 Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a
                king as the one in authority, NASU

        3.    Submission of Man and Woman and Christ
                1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the
                man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. NASU

        4.    Submission of the Wife
                Eph 5:22-24 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband
                is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior
                of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their
                husbands in everything. NASU

                Ephesians 5:33 Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as
                himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. NASU

                Col 3:18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. NASU

                Titus 2:2-5 2 Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in
                perseverance.    3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious
                gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, 4 so that they may encourage the
                young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be sensible, pure, workers at
                home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be
                dishonored. NASU

                1 Peter 3:1-4 1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that
                even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the
                behavior of their wives, NASU

Principal of the Foundation of a building. Building can't stand without it, wife is a home's foundation.


Now let me make this observation. The Baptist Faith and Message does not saying any thing in Article About a woman loving her husband. How sensible would it be for me to say I reject that Article because it never says a woman should love her husband?

The . . Clarification. v 18 b
        ". . . as is fitting in the Lord. "

        1.    This means PROPER.
        2.    Fitting in the circle of Lordship.

Ray Steadman former pastor of Penesula Bible Church tells this story: After the first service this morning a man said to me, "I opened my Bible the other day and the first thing I saw was this verse, 'Wives, submit to your husbands.'" I said to him, "But that is not addressed to you. That is something Paul tells your wife to do. It is the next verse that God addresses to you." Without voluntary submission on her part the word is useless. Submission cannot be demanded. The Father did not demand it of the Son. It is a voluntary submission which wives are exhorted to make because it is fitting and proper; it is right in the sight of God. Paul follows with a word to husbands.

No one would dispute Luther's ability to take charge of any situation. He was strong-willed, tough-minded, and had the capacity to press important issues to a point of decision.

But alongside Luther was his beloved wife, Katie. She was every bit as strong as Luther! She knew when to reel him in, how to enhance his strengths, and what he needed to endure the many battles he faced.

Luther also knew how to affirm his Katie, sending her love notes, opening his heart to her, and engaging her in the warmest of conversations. Her submissiveness was not a timid, mousy, never-get-involved life. She was at the center of his life, a helpmeet of the highest model. He faithfully exercised his headship in the marriage, demonstrating an unfailing love for Katie above all earthly relationships and finding her counsel to him full of wisdom.

Behind every Great Man is a Great Woman

Some women have made fools out of men, others have made men out of fools! - Vance Havner

Joyce Meyer is a prominent Pentecostal Evangelist-Bible teacher.    I heard her recently on James Robinson's Program. James asked her husband how he liked being Mr. Joyce Meyer the one who carries the briefcase for the Joyce Meyer Ministries?

Joyce spoke up and said "In the pulpit I am boss but when I step out of the pulpit he is the boss. He takes care of all the business and he arranges the schedule etc.. If fact she said to James Robinson "you asked me to be on your program earlier in the year and he would not let me take the invitation.


In my opinion Joyce Meyer comes across as rather bossy in the pulpit but in this interview she came across as very biblical in the matter of submission.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

2.    The Word to . . Husbands. v 19

            "Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

A.    The . . Command. v 19 a
        " Husbands, love your wives . . . "

ATR = Present active imperative, "keep on loving." That is precisely the point.

Why is a Man Commanded to Love His wife and the wife is not commanded to love her husband.
Hardest thing for a woman to do is be submissive.

B.    The . . Clarification. v 19 b
        ". . . and do not be embittered against them."

ATR = "do not have the habit of being bitter."

How do we as men show love?     Show it like we want or like the wife wants?

Recently my wife and I had a little disagreement about my actions.   It seems I have recently done something more than once that my wife thinks is disrespectful and she is embarrassed by it.

It seems when we have been out to eat at a buffet I have prayed and then rushed to the buffet and not waited for my wife. It is a terrible NO, NO.

She then acts sulky and I have no idea as to why she is mad. I say "are you mad" and "she says yes." I ask "why?"   She says "you know."  Now if I had a clue I would not ask.

Then I get ticked off. She then says "wait until we get to the car."   That's when I hear about this terrible sin of going to the buffet before my wife even gets up from the table.

(The reason I rush to the buffet is I want to beat the little ladies who take 10 minutes through the line.)


What should I do about this?   I have told my wife "write down all the behavior you think I should have so I can work on remembering."   I do not want to embarrass you and I certainly want to indicate that you are special to me and the one I love.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be
embittered against them.

3.    The Word to . . Children. v 20

        Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

A.    The . . Command. v 20 a
        Children, be obedient to your parents in all things,. . . "

ATR = An old verb, to listen under (as looking up), to hearken, to heed, to obey.

ATR = In all things kata (NT:2596) panta (NT:3956). This is the hard part for the child, not occasional obedience, but continual.

B.    The . . Clarification. v 20 b
        ". . . for this is well-pleasing to the Lord."

        1.    The goal of parent and child is to please the Lord.

Yesterday I listened to Ann Lotz (Billy Graham's daughter) tell of her relationship to her Mom and Dad. She really gave a good testimony of how she was reared in her family.

She told of reevaluating some things in her Adult life that took her back to how her Mother reared her brothers and sisters. As an adult lady she became even more obedient to the teachings and example of her parents. She never was a really disobedient child but as an adult has become even more obedient. Her opportunity for ministry through the word of God has exploded. It all began when she became more like the woman her mother is and had taught her to become.


Children, be obedient to your parents in all things,

for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.

This Formula Works

Husbands Love

Wives Submit

Children Obey

From The Baptist Faith and Message Article XVIII

The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God's image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.